Jeremiah 31:25 says, “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”
The word I have been using, describing and stretching for countless weeks now. As I may have written about before, I lost my job (well… there was no work for my co-workers and I) just over one month ago and a huge stress swept over me during that time. I had big plans in mind for transferring Universities come September, set out a budget so I was able to afford it and wasn’t necessarily the most willing to take just “any other job”. I needed full time until September and they just couldn’t offer it at my convenience. Which, by the way, was completely not their fault! It’s a business and changes are inevitable in any life stage; business or personal.
I like to use metaphors if you hadn’t caught that drift yet (I think half of my blog posts are metaphorical). In the title, when I say “Hole in the Exhaust Pipe”… this was the hole that I felt like I was falling into. Exhaust pipes on vehicles are carefully designed to carry toxic gasses away from the driver. I felt like the toxins (in this case, the devil), were seeping into my mind and slowly corrupting all my motivation to keep going, unlike a perfectly fine exhaust pipe (God) that would enable a car to keep going.
Personally, I drive a truck to work everyday. If you haven’t had your ear blasted by a trucks exhaust, well… you probably wouldn’t know that a trucks exhaust pipe is very visible (and obviously very audible as well). It’s funny because the first month at my new job felt like my exhaustion was just as visible to everyone around me… and just as loud. The “you look so tired today!” started becoming an everyday thing and to give them credit, that’s 100% how I felt too.
I guess I didn’t beat around the bush too much. I ended up getting a new job – woohoo. However, the exhaustion really shifted gears and it took me awhile to get used to this new routine.
5:00am… 5:25am… okay 6:15am is when I ideally wake up. My workplace is about a 20 minute drive away from my home and most days (okay, all days) I rush out of bed, brush my teeth, grab a pre made coffee from my dad (such a kind soul) and start my engine. As I sit in the drivers seat, I brace myself for transport trucks and slow drivers and pray that God gets me there on time. I am so thankful for this job I have been given, but I don’t think I was prepared for what has been coming from it (and honestly, what I decided to do about it for the summer..).
I don’t mean prepared in the way of getting to know co-workers, a different job scene or a different time schedule, but prepared for the distance it created (and honestly is still creating) with God. Coming home tired everyday is a normality. Most people are tired coming home from work and I understand that completely. Everybody’s going through something in their day that exhausts them. Some days I can’t wrap my head around the thought of people getting up this early just for the heck of it. But what also came across my mind was a lot of the people I know that do wake up early, spend this quiet and peaceful time with God to start their day. Refreshed sounds more like it.
Unfortunately, I’ve just used exhaustion as an excuse for far too long and I want to admit to that today, get it out in writing and grow from it.
Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
The early mornings are definitely not my forte in the slightest, but why do I feel weary from it? This time… this time God has planned for me… is the proper time to reap a harvest if I do not give up. If I could circle and underline those four words I would. About 100 times.
Not only does this job give me an income, but it gives me the opportunity to talk freely about my faith. Many people that I work with know that I am a believer and to my surprise, the more questions they ask, the more I realize I don’t know as much as I thought about the God I believe in. My faith was beginning to become lukewarm before starting this new job and this, I believe, is Gods way of reminding me that He is there through the exhaustion and is ready to patch up that hole so I can get on my merry way come September. When I have grown and have stopped ignoring His signals.
Often in trucks there is a silencer that is surrounded by a perforated metal sheath to avoid anyone getting burnt by touching the hot silencer. If I continue to believe in the devils manipulation and breath in his toxic lies, I will get burned and will no longer be surrounded by Gods protection (the metal sheath). A job is the metal sheath right now and I need to be embracing the protection here. The fact that I have the strength to get up and get through a work week still blows my mind. To learn what hard work is and to share with others how I have this strength to keep moving forward and pursue future dreams gets my adrenaline pumping
I am only a few months into this new job, but as I become aware of what is really exhausting me, I become more aware of what and WHO is really there to protect me. To blow the toxins in the other direction. To protect me from the burning hot silence I have been feeling in my heart.
I just want you to know that even blips like this in your life can help you to grow. You have a means to get there and an Almighty God to protect you from the toxic lies in your head and the heat rising through your exhaustion. At this point, I don’t know how long God will have me placed here. Whatever His plan is for me, I know I can work through it with Him even if it disappoints or offends people during the process. He knows what is best for me and my situation.
Though many things happen outside of your workplace that are the true culprits of your exhaustion, take a minute to be refreshed and satisfied in His word, early mornings or not. You and I both, friends, deal with exhaustion in different ways. Sometimes we’re going to be burnt out. Sometimes we’re going to ugly cry.
Other days, however, when the sky is bright and the birds are chirping, we’re going to rejoice and feel refreshed. We’re going to have life to look forward to… all because of how He protects us, not if… but when we are feeling burnt out.
Ask Him to patch that hole in the exhaust. It’ll get you moving and it’ll keep you on the right path.
PS. Today is Good Friday. I was looking forward to today (pancake breakfast) all week and I’m about to go for a hike with one of my best friends, a refreshing soul she is!
Thank you Jesus for your resurrection!